Yang Gang Dangers and April Fools


From YangGangUS

A disturbingly high number of Southerners have joined the “Yang Gang,” following after their proclaimed “Chairman Yang” who promises to do things differently from all past politicians. Feeling slighted at the failure of President Trump to deliver what he promised he would (i.e., a wall, less legal immigration, an end to foreign wars, etc) these folks have (sympathetically) jumped the party ship. But where their feet hits the soil is Yang Land on the Democratic Continent, a world of pastel coloured neon memes, promises of impartiality in government, and a high-tech take on future welfare and work in the United States. It’s hard to tell whether what clearly began as a protest against the all-consuming GOP establishment has become full on support, but the indications incline that way.

Endlessly enamoured, these same have taken to calling out their fellow Southerners as fools, claiming that the South was, in the past, progressive (a term they loosley define). While their use of history as precedent may be murky, they don’t lack incentives to give others, continually issuing invitations to join Yang’s Universal Basic Income Programme.

But Southerners should examine the politician’s platform more carefully, pushing aside the Star-Trek slosh and good-vibe graphics. A person can be no better than his platform, and might actually be worse. Donald Trump was (and likely is) a scurrilous individual, but his platform promised a change for the better, or at least maintenance of the quickly-corrupting status quo. This is the same principle which pushed and pushes countless Christian minorities to support personally bad men the world over – these bad men at least stem the tide of ever-present defeat in some way.

So, rather than hand the reins to a random bloke on the promise of a Universal Basic Income and bad history, let’s see what “Chairman Yang” truly has to offer.

Abortion. Chairman Yang certainly follows his premier-predecessor in supporting this most horrible of practices. He states that his platform position is to “Appoint judges who support a woman’s right to choose.” Abortion is the lynchpin of the culture war. It is also an inherently evil act capable of damning a person (if these Yang-Gangers believe in such superstitions after reaching their new level of enlightenment). It can, in no circumstances, be supported by a person in good conscience. But Chairman Yang “Support[s] a woman’s right to choose in every circumstance.” That’s right, folks – every circumstance. There’s no beating about the bush with this candidate – he’s cookie cutter clear (and, hey, more cookies for us if his policy is implemented, right?). Partial birth abortion is passé – there are “new frontiers” to be made, as circumstances are nearly limitless. But you want to vote against abortion, thinking it morally reprehensible? Chairman Yang says that “it is solely up to the woman what course to take.” Well, that’s not exactly the full picture. He wants a board of doctors to determine abortion laws, preventing States (and presumably Congress) from legislating on the matter. But, hey, I got my $1k a month!

Puerto Rico Statehood – In his words, “If Puerto Ricans looked like Swedes they’d be a state already.”

Illegal Immigration – While claiming he will secure the border and eliminate illegal entry, Chairman Yang also states that “Rounding up and deporting [11 million people] is a nonstarter—it would be prohibitively expensive, disruptive, and inhumane to many communities, so a pathway to citizenship must be provided.”

2A – Does the Yang Gang know that the Chairman wants to “Prevent dangerous individuals from owning guns,” which likely includes every meme-posting Yanger? To this end Yang aims to mandate firearms training classes for those owning anything as small as a handgun. Further, he’ll order you to purchase gun safes or gun locks for the same (the price of which he guarantees will be offset by tax credits). For “Advanced and automatic weaponry” (undefined what “advanced” entails), the Chairman would require fingerprinting for FBI databases, gun locker inspections, yearly training, and a complete ban on high-capacity magazines. As well as these regulations impacting the individual, the Federal government would now oversee all gun production.

Homosexuality and Transgenderism – “I’ve always been pro-gay marriage; why should straight people have all of the fun?” Not only will Chairman Yang fund LGBTQ organisations, expand existing laws favouring LGBTQ persons, make LGBTQism a protected (rather than the current quasi-protected) class, he also promises to appoint LGBTQ persons to administrative positions.

Global Warming – Feeling a little bit like a peon? Well, start feeling like a guinea pig. To combat climate change, Chairman Yang wants embrace new technology, including “cloud-seeding technology to increase the atmosphere’s reflectivity.” And, no, he’s not talking about Donald Duck skirting the clouds in a classic Carl Barks comic – he’s talking about the Federal Government pumping materials into the sky for the sake of averting the secularists’ ethereal apocalypse.

Yang comes to the table with some good notes – that capitalism needs to be more human-focused and not profit driven, that corporations currently have too much power, that markets exist for people and not vice-versa, that the opioid epidemic needs some real addressing, that the historic white majority is declining, and that the United States should be hesitant to engage in foreign wars. He is, however, no saviour. While a few novelties have been thrown into the mix, he’s overwhelmingly the same type of politician the left has produced for decades.

Of course, the Yanger may scoff, “Nothing ever changes. These things will happen regardless of who you put into office.” The retort may be made – you change. You knowingly approve, endorse, and further a candidate whose platform is not and cannot be reconcilable with any sort of Christian tradition. $1k to enjoy the decline is doing nobody any good.

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